This topic came up during a session.
The client was describing all the reasons why they could not do something, change something, and how the idea of taking even an innocent little step toward a new direction felt challenging to them, for the meaning it had in their mind: That they were about to jump into something new. With all these anxious feelings about the topic, they were doubting their initial desire for a change.
Have you ever found yourself in this situation? I sure did. In my experience, this tells me a couple of things: first, my Heart truly desires that change, hence the fear of going for it. Second, I am making some confusion: The anxiety doesn’t signal that I am unsure about the truthfulness of my desire, rather it tells me that I am scared by the uncertainty of how it will manifest, how I will feel, and what exactly it will look like. In brief, I need control — I want to know the future and be reassured that whatever I am going to do will feel good, it will be the “right” choice, 100%.
Well, guess what? We can’t have those answers, we can’t foresee the future, we can’t control life and we can’t be 100% sure about our choices. Also, we can’t jump without lifting our feet off the ground and being left groundless for a second before we land on the other side. How’s that for reassurance? I know that may feel even scarier, but for me, it also brings relief: I can let go of having to know, having to be sure, having to get the answer before I take the next step. If that answer is not attainable, why waste my time chasing after it?
The mind likes what’s known and comfortable, it’s a creature of habit and seeks security (it’s a survival mechanism). Our Soul wants expansion, growth, exploration, and creativity, and seeks freedom.
This apparent dichotomy had me struggling for a long time…until recently I discovered the magic of Action. I realized how, every time I found myself brooding on something for too long, draining my energy and filling myself with anxiety and self-doubt, thus lowering my spirits and getting on the fast lane toward insecurity and pessimism, my body was “itching”.
My calves in particular got all tingly and tense, as well as my jaw. My stomach contracted and my arms were rigid and heavy. My hands had pins and needles. That strong I was contracting my body. That strong I was blocking myself from action.
Now, these may not be everyone’s symptoms but how about low energy, fatigue, and headaches…ever experienced that? And if so, have you ever thought that it may be something you are not doing, or cutting yourself from by overthinking rather than doing too much? Have you thought that maybe you are just doing the wrong thing? Too much of it?
Inaction has a cost, and we can’t “think” our way through it.
So, Now What?
So, now what I tell myself is that is time to stop thinking and start acting. Our Mind is not the enemy, nor is thinking, we just aren’t using them correctly most of the time.
The first step is to be honest and admit our heart’s desire. To me, that means to remind myself that, by admitting the truth, I don’t have to act on it right this second. The options are all open, and I can always decide to wait until certain circumstances evolve, a situation develops or I feel like moving forward. I’m still the owner of my decisions and actions, and — at the same time — I can be in integrity with myself and listen to my Soul’s message. Savoring the truth of this statement takes a burden off my shoulders when I find myself in this apparent conflict between heart and mind.
What happens next, I find, is that as you admit the truth to yourself something begins to flourish within, in its own time, like a rosebud. And that, organically, will make you want to take a little action step, whatever feels comfortable for you at the moment.
By then slipping into action without friction or resistance, you will see your confidence increase and you will have a good litmus test for how aligned that action feels to your heart. If you experience joy, expansion, excitement, and vitality — even if mixed with the inevitable nervousness of doing something new and unknown — , then you are on the right path!
One step will lead to the next. If you, like me, realize you are thinking too much, pause for a moment, look deeper, and honor the truth within, then do the next thing that spontaneously arises. Everything else will follow. The path of least effort is when we don’t oppose resistance to our Soul’s messages.